Amanda vs. Del Mar Bullies

The last time I saw Amanda was a a month or two ago. She gave me a huge hug (like she always does), and we were inseparable at youth group that night, sort of. We have a picture together from that night, and I'll never let it go. 

She was, IS an amazing person. She has such a passion for music and acting and band at school, and I wonder why those people were so mean to her. What is wrong with them? I don't like bullies. I'm kind of a bully. But not like that. I know it may sound like I'm giving myself an exception, but I'm not. Those bullies were horrible. I hope they realize what they've done.

I desperately want Amanda to be all better. We used to be so close, and we drifted a bit during this school year, and I regret it so much. I want a second chance for her, and I want another chance for us to be as inseparable as we used to be when we were together.

No Thanks to Santa.

I remember the time when Amanda invited me to her eighth grade promotion. I was the only person outside of her school and her family that showed up. It was really hot outside, and we were sitting on metal chairs. It was awful, but I had a great time.

Another time, I slept at her house for her birthday. We watched Moulin Rouge and Rent. The next morning when I woke up, she was on top of me and she said, "You fit my every curve!" And I started cracking up.

I love Amanda. I miss Amanda. I want her to be okay.

"While She's Still Around"

I realized today how much I love my friends. I knew I loved them, and valued them, but I didn't know it was this much. Even Amanda, someone I haven't talked to in months, affects me so much.

I wish I had spent the time to be with her, and go to bad movies with her, and drag her to youth group and remind her how much she means to so many people.

What I'm saying is, don't lose touch with your friends, even the ones you think you are very close with, because if (God forbid) something happens to one of them you'll be devastated.

Haha, No Burnham

Bo Burnham is a funny funny man. He's really messed up, though. There was one particular song called "Cookout," where he sang about heinous, truly despicable things, and I thought to myself, I don't think I can listen to this guy anymore, and then he said something funny, and I decided that completely cutting myself off from Bo Burnham was unnecessary. 

So I still listen to him. He is very funny. He's just little bit really messed up.

New Life Goal

Must find a way to the tenth dimension.

There decisions I have made that have altered my path in life. I want to change some things in my life that have occurred, or come down upon me, because of decisions I have made. If I could see my possibilities and change what I've already done, I'd do it.

The Tenth Dimension

I saw this not-so-fascinating video about understanding the tenth dimension.  However it was interesting enough that I felt the need to watch the entire thing. When I first started watching it, I thought, "Who watches these things?" I soon answered my own question: people like me, with an attention span similar to that of a sloth (I'm not sure what I mean by that either).

I've never gotten the concept of the dimensions past the first, second, and third. But now I totally get it! Well, maybe not totally, I have a general sort of understanding of the fifth through tenth dimensions. What I remember completely is that all possibilities are contained within the tenth dimension. That's kind of crazy to think of. If we were to find a way to get to the tenth dimension, we would access to every path of every world in every universe. We would be able to see all of our own options, and we would be able to choose our own path for own lives. Not only that, but if we found a way to the tenth dimension, we should be able to get to the other dimensions, which means that if we didn't like the path we chose for our life, we could use one of the other options for the path our life could take, based on the folding of the dimensions (disappearing from one point, and appearing at another).

...And "Le Disko," Too.

I just love Shiny Toy Guns. Especially the song, "Chemistry of a Car Crash". Have you ever heard a song once, and for the next forever you just HAD to listen to it all the time, then when that forever was over, you know, you moved on and what not. Then after you had listened to all this other music and you probably did the same thing with other songs (where you just HAD to listen to it all the time), and it has been months, maybe a year or so, since the last time you really had a need to listen to that song, and now all of the sudden you realize why you loved that song so much in the first place. For some reason that song just really appeals to you. 

That's how I feel about "Chemistry of a Car Crash." 

For some reason I just really love that song.

buttons on your underwear.

"Everywhere you look, there is a heart, a hand to hold on to.

Everywhere you look, there is a face of somebody who needs you.

When you are lost out there and you are all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home, everywhere you look."

Sooooooo deep. Even thought this is probably the cheesiest song to ever grace the television, I like it. It's short and to the point. Don't you think the characters of "Full House", not the actors, but the characters, must have felt secure in their on-set home? I think so. I would like to live in that show for a day. Not that it's a great show or anything. I just think it might be fun to live in a fake world for a few days.

Well, its Friday...

I'm so tired....

I am not fond of screaming children.

I am not fond of screaming children with smelly diapers.

I am not fond of screaming children with smelly diapers and sticky, play-doh fingers.

BUT I LOVE SEEING ABBY AND CHANELLE! THEY'RE GREAT!

Holding on...

Proposition 8 passed.

[grrrrrrrrrrrr...]

I am so upset. SO upset. 

I am just holding onto the hope that proposition 8 will not hold up in court. It's unconstitutional.

I am on the verge of tears for this! This particular political issue is so important to me, and I will be so out of it until gay marriage is legal again. 

I actually haven't even thought of this until now, but aside from the fact that making gay marriage illegal goes against the constitution, who is anyone to tell me that I can't marry someone I love?

I've heard arguments from people saying things like, "What's next? Allowing incest? Legalizing bestiality?"

Crazy! These things are illegal for rational reasons. Bestiality is rape. An animal has no consent to something like that (yick!).  Incest causes higher chances of passing along genetic disorders to any children they may have. 

Males cannot reproduce together. Females cannot reproduce together. I don't see the problem.

Prop 8 shouldn't have passed.

BARACK OBAMA!!

WOOHOO!

What a good day this is.  This is an historic day. 

In regards to John McCain, I honestly don't think he would do a lot to make him worse than George W. Bush, but McCain is old. And while there is always a chance that the president, no matter what age, will die during presidency, I think the chances are higher for a man as old as McCain. The thought of Sarah Palin becoming president scared me, and that is partially why I am so glad that Obama won.

Plus, I think Obama will be a great president.

Oh, no.

My best friend is trying to get into the foreign exchange program thing.

If she leaves, I'll be so lonely!

Well, not really, but who's house will I go to when I'm bored or angry, or sad?

Who's going to walk over to Pioneer to see Eness and Tina and Cece... and others?

Who will make fun of me when I stutter?

Her house is within a five-minute walking distance from so many of my friends.

It's like there's a constant open house there, it's like the offer to come over stands forever.

AND I LOVE IT!

I love her. I'll miss her so much.

I know it's not like she's never coming back, but she's a security blanket for me. She's outgoing, and I'm not. She makes friends by entering a room, and I don't. If she goes to a dance , chances are I'll do it, too. 

My other best friends go to other schools, and I'm one of those people that need a REALLY familiar face  to feel comfortable.

If this is supposed to happen for her, I hope it does.

"Hell hath no Fury...like Christine."

Have you ever looked up your name on urbandictionary.com?

I've looked up random words, just to see what comes up, but tonight I typed in my name, and i got several really weird answers.

"The most amazing person to walk this earth. Talented and funny. Usually complaining about her hatred for New Jersey. Total music junkie, and a perfect example of a best friend."

I liked this one, because it is mostly true for me.

"One who likes to pierce his/her face... and likes long walks on beaches."

I don't have metal on my face, I wanted to get my lip pierced for the longest time, but now I've let go of that dream. 

My favorite is "slang for the drug crystal-meth."

Alright, this one I dislike, I've never heard this one before:

"Chinky, very small eyes... that seem like they are always closed.....- Term mostly used in San Jose, California.." 

WHAT? I've lived in San Josie my whole life, and I've never heard the word "Christine" used for this, but that could be just because my name is Christine.

"Greek for 'horny little man' ; often refers to a freshman girl"

WRONG! I don't like it. I don't think it's greek for "horny little man" either.

English Post.

This post is in German. 

My desktop is a picture of Tegan and Sara now. I really do not like the haircuts they used to have. Ugh, which were terrible. But now they are as pretty as ever.

All this makes my head hurt.

German Post.

Dieser Post ist auf Deutsch.

Mein Desktop ist ein Bild von Tegan und Sara jetzt. Ich wirklich nicht mögen die Abschläge sie verwendet zu haben. Ugh, die waren schrecklich. Aber jetzt Tegan und Sara sind nur so hübsch wie eh und je.

All dies mach meinen Kopf verletzt.

I love my family.

So maybe I annoy people at school because I talk too much, and I'm sorry.

I'm very grateful for the people who listen because I feel like I'm not ignored.

I feel like my parents don't like me. I think they love me, but they don't seem to like me. 

And I think my big sister doesn't like me very much either.

My parents love me, they take care of me, they are good people.

I think they care about me, physically and mentally (they don't seem too worried about damaging the emotional part), and I care about them.

I just wished they liked me a little more, or at least pretended to.

info...

Helen Keller was a commie.

Family Traditions.

One of my family traditions is pretty simple. Actually, it's the only one I can think of.

Every Christmas my family gets up early to open our presents to each other, and later , around, 10:00 am, TONS of our family comes over for brunch and we visit and open presents to each other. It's a nice tradition, for me at least, because I can stay home as people pass through and say hello. Then we have Christmas dinner at our house.

Christmas morning at my house is really the only consistent tradition we have. I cannot remember a Christmas when those shenanigans did not go on.

Well,

I took this one off because I felt like a b**** for posting it, even though I'm still angry at him.

Lapse

I really love this song. It's one of those songs where you get to take a little look into the writer's own personal feelings. But it sucks because once you actually listen to the lyrics and think about what they mean you become so sad.

"Make sure the needle is clean when you let me go back to sleep."

I love this line so much that I'm not going to over analyze it.

"Situate the piece of her picture underneath my fingers, it protects me in my dreams"

And this one made me so sad for him because, I don't know, it's a combination of all the lyrics that make me feel like this.

"I'm just here to remind you, remind you not to forget to remember me."

"Lapse" - Envy On The Coast

Ismene

"What? Antigone, what are you up to? What dangerous thing have you got in mind now?"

This quote says that Antigone probably thinks of dangerous things a lot. Ismene seems reluctant to go along with what Antigone has in mind because she's tired of all her mischief.

Dear Darla,

Christinie is not a scenie-weenie.

Now I feel like one whenever I wear my leopard print bag (which I hardly ever do because of those scenie-weenies).

Love, Alfalfa

To Further Explain...

I was not referring to anyone specifically in my other super long post.

I understand that you can't quickly change your opinions because someone got offended.

I would like to point out that I try to follow the Bible, with exceptions. The Bible says that women are to wear head coverings in church/public. I don't follow that. It also says to love your neighbor, which is why I am so angry at conservative Christians who hate homosexual or bisexual people. If they are Christians, they would try to love their neighbor. 

 I would also like to point out that the Bible was written my humans. Males humans, to be specific. While I think that the Bible was definitely inspired by the word of God, I also keep in mind that it was written by humans, and then edited by humans. So if God loves everyone NO MATTER WHAT, then I think he'll love you if you have feelings for the same sex as yourself.

In fact, it is part of my belief system, and I want to do what I can to stop the hate that comes from some people, on both ends of the pickle spectrum.

For the people that believe that same sex relationships are wrong, please put yourself in their situation. Having feelings for someone, that feel right, and all the while you get told those feelings are wrong.

Ew.

I don't like labels.

I think people should be able to be what they are, who they are, without being stuck with a name that does not hold any description for who they really are.

The end.

Same Sex Relationships

I love the word Matthew T. used for homophobic people (those who discriminate against gay or bisexual people): ignorant. Not to say there are not people who've grown up with parents who believe this, and making it harder for them to accept certain people. But you need to keep an open mind. 

Being gay is not a choice, just like being straight is not a choice. A person can't wake up one day and say, "Yesterday I was straight, so today I'll be gay." Just like I can't wake up and say, "Well, I've been white for a while, so today I think I'll be Asian." We were born with the sexual preference we have, and if you want to change it, have fun trying.

So many people have been killed for liking or being with the same sex. It's sickening how cold-hearted people can be. There were 1,472 victims of hate crimes in 2006 because of a sexual orientation bias, which disgusts me. Why would someone be so compelled to kill someone for their sexual orientation? I can't understand it. Which brings me to talk about how religion plays into this.

There's this kid in my youth group that said he "hates all gays" and basically wants them all to be killed. He was mainly talking about two men together, but that doesn't matter. He said they were disgusting people. In my religion, United Methodism (a denomination of Christianity), I am supposed to forgive those who hurt me, offend me, or do some kind of wrong. But I am having trouble coming to some kind of forgiveness for this kid and for anyone committing hate crimes. I really don't know how. If they're going to keep hating people, I don't really don't want to.

I also saw a religious group of men in front of Washington Mutual with signs that said things like, "1 Man + 1 Woman : God's Marriage," which, in my opinion, is ridiculous. This sign was referring to what the Bible says on this matter which is somewhere along the lines of 'one man must not lay with another man.' In the time that was written, it was most likely referring to the rulers that had sex with young boys. Also, I don't get the whole point of being against same sex marriage. How the hell would it affect anyone else? Why would you want to take away someone's rights to have something to say that they will be with the person they love for the rest of their lives? 

It makes me so upset to see this kind of ignorance. 

In "My So-Called Life" Jordan sounded like an idiot.

"It doesn't feel like like Friday." Well, that's because it isn't friday. He sounds a little like a stoner. That's a good man you picked there, Angela.

I think The Mask of Zorro is not a very good movie, and Antonio Banderas looks better with a big beard.