*First "Love"

All throughout middle school and the first semester of high school, I thought I wouldn't find someone that liked me as much as I liked them. I thought that love wasn't for me, at least not right then, and that it would take a lot of searching to find anyone that would have feelings for me. But the second semester of my freshman year of high school, I started to like a guy named Brendan. 

I hadn't realized it, but Brendan had been flirting with me for about a month. He would show up to at lunch with me and start conversations that I was uncomfortable having (because he was flirting). When I was having a conversation with someone other than him, he tried to join, if he could. When I sat down on the floor, he sat down and leaned his head on my chest. It embarrassed me, but I didn't want to be rude because despite how annoying he may have seemed, I was developing a huge crush toward him. He was actually pretty charming at times, so I was blind to all the crude jokes he made, and all the annoying things he did, and the fact that we hadn't actually ever had a real conversation. 

So on a monday, when he told me that he wrote a lot of poetry, and that he wrote something for me, I was pretty excited. A million thoughts went through my head at once. I was excited that this could finally be the time that someone shares my feelings for them. I was thrilled that I was important enough to someone that they took the time to write something about me. He and I both had P.E. third period, and right before third period he pulled out his laptop outside of the locker rooms and showed me what he had written for me. At first I thought it was really sweet, maybe a little clichéd, but sweet. The last line said something about how I completed him. While I thought the poem was cute, that comment was a bit much for me. He had only been interested in me for a month or so, how could I complete him?

As soon as I got out of the locker room, about ten minutes after I read the poem, my friend Baker came up to me and congratulated me. When I seemed confused as to why he was congratulating me, he said it was because I was now "with" Brendan. I was surprised. I said thank you for the poem, I gave him a hug, and now he was telling his buddies in the locker room that we were together? Okay, whatever.

Baker was also in my fourth period class. I had expressed to him that I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be with him. Baker asked me if I liked him and I said that I thought so. Baker said I should go for it. So I did. All my friends were very excited for me. I got three calls in sixth period that day because my best friend spilled the unfortunate beans to my close friends at Pioneer. 

The excitement lasted for three days. Apparently, once he had secured his place with me, he had no need to be polite in anyway at all. He made crude jokes about me, my friends, and just about anything he could think of. I soon realized that I didn't like him at all. Within a week I wanted to cut him loose. I didn't want to get attached to this guy if I really didn't like him. So the monday after he decided we were a couple, I broke up with him. I let him down easy, of course, but I was glad I didn't have to deal with a really strong emotional attachment.